Life as a parent is a lot different from life as a non-parent. People who aren’t parents don’t have to worry about temper tantrums, or messy hands touching the furniture, or the strange phenomenon known as “kid logic.”
When you have kids, your focus shifts. You spend less time worrying about yourself and more time worrying in general— about everything. Keep reading if you want to feel just a little bit less alone in the parenting world.
What Happens When You Spill Baby Powder On Wet Hair
Well, this is a tangled mess. Even if you haven’t suffered this particular trauma, I bet you’ve had to deal with some kind of hair disaster.
Whether it was a gum mishap or way too much shampoo, we’ve all been there. Sometimes you just want to shave it all off.
The Middle Is The Best Part
This mom went to take out the baguette she was going to serve with dinner. When she pulled it out of the bag, she discovered that it had been gutted.
I wonder who got in to the bread? (said nobody). We all know who did it. It’s not a secret.
It’s Not Fair
How does Meghan Markle look like a literal princess right now, and when I was twelve weeks pregnant I looked like a toad?
This is not fair at all. I think when you marry into the royal family, your genetics just change. It must be magic and not the fact that I ate more than one Chipotle burrito per sitting.
When They’re A Little Too Quiet For A Little Too Long
When your kids are being loud and rambunctious, you pray for a quiet moment— but then when they’re too quiet, you know something like this is happening.
It’s a catch-22. Maybe just don’t keep any paint in your house. They’ll probably just find something else to smear all over the walls, though.
What Dinner As A Parent Feels Like
Just when everybody else is finished eating you finally have time to sit down and enjoy your meal. It’s hard work cooking three different things for two picky kids and two adults who don’t want to eat spaghetti with butter.
At least everyone likes watermelon.
It’s Just Too Hot
There are too many hours in a day during summer break to really hold your ground on every issue that your kids bring up. Sometimes you just need to pick your battles. You need to let some things go.
We’ve all been there. We all know how it is.
When They Just Want To Play With The Box
Doesn’t it feel great when you drop a couple hundred dollars on a brand new trampoline, and your kids are more interested in the box it came in?
It’s almost like they’re laughing at us for spending money on them. I guess cardboard boxes are pretty fun.
Bring Your Kid To Work Day
Bring your kid to work day is supposed to be fun for everybody involved. What ends up happening is that your kid is only entertained by your disconnected keyboard for so long. Then they start making a mess.
They should have free daycare on bring your kid to work days.
When You Know It’s About To Happen
My kids always wake me up at 7AM on the dot. It doesn’t matter if it’s a holiday or a weekend or a weekday— these kids are like clockwork.
The one day that they wake up at 7:10, I can’t even enjoy it because I’m just waiting for them to barge into my room.
Middle School Math Is Hard, Okay?
Do you think I remember how to use PEDMAS? It’s been years since I’ve had to think about order of operations.
I shouldn’t have complained so much about how “I’m never going to use this in my real life,” because apparently, I did need to know it for when my kids need to know it.
We all want our kids to grow up to be independent people, but moments like this make me realize why helicopter parenting is a thing. It’s hard to watch them fall— but they have to learn somehow.
Whatever choice you make, it’s probably the right one. Either way they’re going to have lots to talk about in therapy.
It’s Like This Kid Wants To Burn His Mouth
Those are hot cookies fresh out of the oven. They need to cool down before this kid can have a bite. He’s not into this whole waiting thing, though. He wants them now.
He doesn’t care that a hot chocolate chip is going to burn his tongue. If that happens, he’ll just cry more.
I’m Not Strong Enough For Pixar Movies
Those Pixar movies lure you in with all of their bright colors and happy music— and then before you know it you’re crying your eyes out over an animated imaginary friend. That’s right. I’m talking about Bing Bong.
Anyone who says they didn’t cry during Inside Out is lying.
She Thinks She’s Helping
It’s nice when your kids want to help you with chores around the house. The problem is, they’re not very good at helping.
This is what happens when you let your children handle a freshly bought carton of eggs. Just keep them away from anything breakable.
When You Just Need A Nap
I know it looks like this mom is sleeping on the job, but she’s earned a good few minutes of shut-eye. Life is tough when you have kids under five.
Sometimes you just have to take your sleep where you can get it. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She Wanted A Red Plate
Kids’ minds work in mysterious ways. Sometimes, something as insignificant as the color of a plate can send them into a full-blown temper tantrum. This is just the kind of thing you have to get used to when you become a parent.
It really is a joy, though. That’s what I keep telling myself.
You Want Me To Do What?
Um, excuse me, I have three children to take care of. That is plenty of volunteer work. I don’t get paid to do their laundry or wash their dishes or drive them around from place to place.
I think I’m all the way maxed out on volunteer work at the moment. Maybe check back in ten years or so.
The Saga Of The Never Ending Laundry
I don’t know about you, but I can never keep up with the amount of laundry that my family produces. It’s like, as soon as I’m done one load, there’s another one waiting to go into the washing machine. It never ends.
Don’t even talk to me about catching up on laundry after you get back from a family vacation.
Being A Parent Means Never Going To The Bathroom Alone
Before you became a parent, I bet you never even thought about doing your business in front of some tiny curious humans.
Now, if you go anywhere and you have to go to the washroom, guess who has to come into the stall with you? At home, well, doors just aren’t a thing anymore.
This Kid Has Nerves Of Steel
Kids are never ready to eat when they’re supposed to be ready to eat. They want a snack right before you’re about to get into a car or right after you’ve finished cleaning the kitchen.
Why can’t they just be hungry when dinner is available to them?